How to Say "No"

        Are you a person who finds it difficult to say "No" when someone requests a favor?  There are people in the world who may view you as one of their financial assets or service providers.  You're busy leading your life, providing for yourself and self-selected others, when someone approaches you out of the blue and asks for either money or a commitment of time and skill.  If they do this on a regular basis, they have mistaken you for a bank or a free contractor.

        You may have self-selected charities which you support to the extent that you can.  You may also decide to help a relative in need because of an unexpected, crisis situation.   That is fine.  You live within your means and you put money aside for emergencies.  Some folks are focused on your emergency money.

        Many repeat borrowers are impulsive spenders.  They don't keep records of their bank withdrawals, but they have perfected the skill of predatory financial demand.  They believe that you have more than you need, and that they are entitled to some of your money.  Whatever you give or lend to them goes down a financial sewer and is never seen again.  They can't pay you back because another crisis is looming in their lives.  Perhaps they have bought something or have taken a cruise that is beyond their means.  Now, they need even more money. 

        Giving and receiving create a prosperous cycle in your life.  If, however, you are doing all the giving and someone else is doing all the receiving, something is wrong.  There is no balance.  Even if the ones in need have no money, they can offer service to show gratitude. If they have received a loan from you, they can repay it in small installments to demonstrate good faith.  They need not be embarrassed to repay $5.00 a month if that is all they can afford.  After a period of time, you may be inclined to forgive the rest of the debt.

        The predatory demanders are the ones who never pay you back.  Yet, they feel justified in asking for more.  The best way to help these people is to teach them how to get their own blessings.  Introduce them to affirmations, prayer, meditation, the process of opening and funding a savings account, the title of a book on personal money management, entrepreneurship ideas, and strategies for curbing impulsive spending. After that, just say "No."  They may become financially responsible, or they may find another "bank".  Either way, you're off the hook.

Love and light,

Patricia C. Churchill